Murder In The Mind

By Scott Dodgson


The sail from the Azores to Gibraltar is approximately 1000nm which translates into three and half days for my CT 72. Janice, my only remaining crew member was locked in her cabin sleeping off her hangover. After ten hours at the helm I was getting tired. I knocked a couple of times on her cabin door and received no response. I returned to the helm. I have sailed solo many times before so I set up a schedule for myself grabbing catnaps every couple of hours. I would sleep longer during the day. This way other vessels would be able to see me more clearly. I set the alarms on the radar so any ship coming within fifteen miles would set off an annoying buzzing. I decided to wait until morning to unlock Janice’s cabin door and see what was going on with her. She could be dead. I thought there is nothing I could do at this point other than take the body to Gibraltar, where they spoke English and since she was a British citizen they could do whatever they do with dead Englishmen. The thought was strangely comforting. The next morning was sunny and windy. I drove East on a reach with main and staysail reefed in a fresh thirty knot wind. The sailing was exhilarating and exhausting. A CT 72 is a big heavy beast. She moves well enough in light winds, but in big winds she seemed to gather a smooth and assertive momentum as if she were coming alive. I got a glimpse of Janice heading to the galley through the salon. I peaked down the companionway and saw her trying to force the liquor cabinet open with a dinner knife. I exploded with anger. “This was no time to go on a bender!” My experience with alcoholics was extensive starting with my father. There is no amount of yelling that changes their behavior especially when they are on a bender. My strategy is put them into a position where they won’t hurt themselves and anyone else until you can get as far away from them as possible. I know it doesn’t sound very compassionate, but at this point racing across the ocean in strong winds and building seas compassion is safety. I made her stand watch hoping against hope the fresh air might sober her up a little. I just needed a couple of hours of sleep downstairs and I would be fine to carry own. Another bit of information, anything that comes out of a drunk’s mouth is not to be believed. I made her stand watch. I checked the galley and found a two bottles of vodka hidden in the freezer. I went to her cabin and found two boxes of wine empty in the shower. I knew there had to be more hidden treasures but I was too tired and too pissed off to look. I threatened her instead. “I will throw you overboard with an anchor tied to your feet if you don’t shape up.” I meant it. The look of fear in her eyes told me she clearly understood I was capable. I laid down on the settee where I could observe her in the cockpit and watch my back. There is a big gap between wanting to kill someone for whatever reason and actually killing someone that is filled with hideous calculations. Could you actually do it? Could I get away with it? Would I be able to live with the moral grief of such an act? I woke abruptly from this insane nightmare and checked on Janice. I had slept for two hours. When I came on deck I found her drinking from a bottle of gin. I took the bottle and threw it over board. She wasn’t upset. She just watched it disappear into the wake. When she looked up at me her eyes told me she would happily follow the bottle if I ordered her to do so. I told her to go back to her cabin until we reached Gibraltar. I wouldn’t be a part of her insanity. Six hours later I could see the lights on the coast of Spain. The Straits of Gibraltar is one of the world’s busiest choke points for shipping. I chose to the hug the coast of Spain to avoid getting run over by traffic exiting and entering the Med. By morning the coast was in clear view. The sky was clear. The sun was very bright and I was motoring into a force ten gale.

If you like this blog check my novel the Mental Hygientist.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003IPD3CQ

Am I Okay

By Scott Dodgson
Here is an excerpt from my new play Homeless in America. I'm starting production this summer in New York. An Artist's predicament? Comments would be very welcome.
PETER


You ask if I am ok, I don't know what that means anymore. My spirit is low, my heart aches, a depression has formed around me like a thick dark fog and my will is as brittle as a fall leaf. I don't have a desire to bring down more people who profess their love or kindness towards me. This may be my only noble act. There is hope on the horizon, success lies before me like a newly paved road, but I am bogged down in the rutted, stony mud of missed opportunity. My wheels have turned square with despair and my draft horse is sick and wants to lie down. I can only describe myself in metaphors as the truth continues to wield the battle hammer blow after blow against my fragile body. I am not well. Happiness is just an empty word. Despair is my cold rock. No I am not well. I am an artist and my art is the only lifeline to the world around me. The airs of confidence, joy and hopefulness I give only mask all that and more. I am only a man who has deluded himself into thinking beyond his station. Now the station has turned from a gilded dream to an abandoned shack crushed by time, withered and weather beaten and dilapidated. You ask why I don't turn to God. He will give my faith, but I have no faith in him. He has failed all of us to many times. Will he wipe away the fatigue in the legs of my draft horse? Will he rise up and pull straight and strong? Is it fair to give him blinders so he cannot see the sparrows and wrens that dance wildly amongst the summer flowers? What life is this? What hope is this? I am just a man beaten by life's game. It is just me alone on the road. It is just me crawling to my grave. It is just me buried beneath the earth like some strange experiment of futility. The only mark I have left on this world is the tracks of my bloody knees on the ice of my destiny.

Message On The Rock

Bt Scott Dodgson
By the time the grey light of dawn slipped across the little harbor in Horta I had drunk a couple of cups of coffee. I didn’t shift from or change my constant vigilance of the watch system aboard my boat. By this point in time I had only one crew member left on board, a sixty something drunken chef who locked herself in her cabin. So I gathered my little clay paint pots and set off down the breakwater to find my boat’s logo painted on the breakwater rocks. This was my third trip through Horta; the two previous trips were noted by date and crew list. I considered out of betrayal and anger to just put Janice down as the only crew member. I wanted to practice even judgment when it came to these circumstances. “Stay above the fray” I thought. So I painted their names and made a small notation next to their names “M” for mutineer. To this day I feel good about that “M”. My subsequent trips through Horta (another eight) I march my crew up to the rock to paint their names as a rite and honor pointing out the “M” and its meaning. I have never had a crew member abandon my boat since that trip.


Upon returning I tried to get Janice out of her cabin. She moaned and begged me to leave her alone. So having gained three days on my schedule I decided it was time to shove off. (In previous blogs I describe the goal is to reach Rhodes Greece to pick up a charter) With the aid of a couple fisherman I slid my 72 CT off the wall and into the center of the harbor. This being very tight a man in a dinghy helped push my bow around. He pushed just enough and with little direction to allow me to exit straight out of the harbor. I set course for the Straits of Gibraltar some 950 nm away. I figured I had maybe two or three sleepless nights at the helm ahead of me and once Janice sobered up she would give me a couple of hours of sleep. With little or no wind I motored for the next six hours, before I became very concerned about Janice.

Pick up my new novel on Amazon Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003IPD3CQ
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The Mental Hygientist

By Scott Dodgson
In celebration of my novel The Mental Hygientist becoming available on Amazon.com, Amazon Kindle, Ebook and MP3 downloads I want to share a little of the opening chapter.
The Lava Lamp


"I woke up abruptly in a sweat. I was dreaming about my life. I stumbled out of bed and looked for my gun. I am a smart guy, real smart, some say a little too smart for my own good. I forgot I had pawned it. I really need that gun."

Pete did not have far to go. A twenty-seven foot Ericson sailboat is not exactly spacious compared to his other boat a ninety-foot custom racing cruiser, but that was another time and this was now. He reached outside through a plastic tarp that covered the companionway for his Tupperware pot. Holding the pot with one hand and his dick with the other hand he pissed. He promised himself he would fix the toilet someday. This was the first promise of the day he would not keep. He coughed. His was a deep smoker’s cough. He filled up his electric pot with water and plugged it in. Next, he turned on his computer. After slipping on his jeans, shirt and flip flops, and after filling the coffee filter, he lit up the first one of the day. He coughed and puffed on his cigarette, until he sat in front of the computer with a cup of coffee. Pinned to the bulkhead was the yellow pawn slip. He looked at it carefully. He checked the date. It would have cost him less money just to hide the gun. This was his careful plan that not only respected the deadly nature of the gun, but also kept him from impulsively taking his life.

His dream kept a strong hold on him all morning as he went through his rituals. Middle- aged men are good at rituals. Although people were often surprised to learn his was fifty- three, they often scoffed at the stories of his life. Pete laughed inside when people would say, “That’s a lot to squeeze in.” “How can one person do all that?” It was true he looked younger than he was, and he was careful not to allow the experiences to age him with undo anxiety, yet emotionally he was exhausted and fat. He opened up his email. There was one message from the producers at Universal. He understood immediately why his dream was so frightening and disturbing. It was yesterday’s meeting. In Hollywood, old men like him do not often get a chance to make movies, unless of course they have been doing it for a long time. Pete did nothing for a long time, except dream. His first dream was to be a writer. He had written off and on all his life. Two months ago, he got a break when on of his screenplays was tapped for development. His hiding was over. It was time to face the music.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003IPD3CQ

Zeke Quesada called it one of the funniest novels I've ever read.
Please feel free to comment.

Tradition of the Sea

By Scott Dodgson


I entered the Horta town harbor from the east. With the volcano to our starboard and a quaint but sturdy lighthouse to port the entrance is easy to navigate. The island of Fial has a population of 11,000 most of which lives in the charming town of Horta. I went directly to the customs dock. There is a large rather worn sign that is easy to see. The officials came out of their office and helped us tie up. The senior customs official greeted me with a big smile. This was my third trip to Horta and he seemed to remember me. I cleared customs and took fuel at the same time. My crew was very impatient. They already had changed clothes. It is always a pleasure when arriving in a new country, especially by sea when the officials are friendly. In my general and not so scientific study of Customs and Immigration officials U.S. are without a doubt the rudest and most unwelcoming organization on earth. Just my opinion, but a survey of Captains will support my conclusion. The Azores top the list of the most accommodating. We were directed to tie up side by side to the breakwater wall. With the traffic of transatlantic yachts I was lucky to get right next to the wall. I wouldn’t have to cross over other yachts to get to shore. The disadvantage was waking up in the middle of the night by a drunken sailor crawling back to his boat. We were finally secure. I turned off the motor and was stuck by the overwhelming silence. After thirteen days of wind and waves it felt as if I had stepped into a vacuum. I pointed out a restaurant across the harbor were we could all meet for dinner. I’m buying! The crew leaped off the boat a disappeared in an instant. I sat quietly in my salon and wrote in my log book. After taking a shower and changing I set off for the bar. We sailors do like rewarding ourselves. I intended to stay for two nights. I wouldn’t hesitate spending the summer going from island to island. If you are one of those been there and done that travelers go to the Azores. It is a magical place. The beauty of the islands is stunning. The people are warm and helpful. I likened visiting the Azores as stepping back in time to the fifties. The islands are unspoiled by the rampant tourism you find in the Caribbean or the South Pacific. Of course, I’m partial to Yachtie havens and Horta in the transit season is no different. Horta was filled with transatlantic sailors. When I met my crew for diner the bar was crowed and loud. It was perfect. I ordered a couple pitchers of the local tinta roja. By the second pitcher I felt a dark undercurrent in my crew’s mood. By the time our roast lamb and fried potatoes arrived I was experiencing a full on mutiny. David started by telling me that this adventure was a little more than he expected. He rationalized he had crossed the Atlantic even though as I pointed out he was a thousand nm miles short. Paul gave me a lame excuse that his family missed him and he had to return as soon as possible. I gave them a long and rather convoluted speech about respecting tradition which fell on deaf ears. They were afraid and had become tired of their fear. I handed them their passports and wished them good luck. There was nothing I could do as they were paying customers. They abruptly left to get their gear and catch the evening ferry to Lisbon. Mike, my first mate sheepishly announced he wanted his passport also, and that he too was catching the ferry. I was less generous and patient with him. I threatened that I would do everything in my power to make sure he never worked on a yacht anywhere in the world. Janice was leaning against the bar drinking shots. I went over to her and explained the situation. I decided to leave in the morning, out of anger and need to get to Italy and pick up my crew. She said she was ready. That evening as the ferry left for Lisbon I stood high up above the town with its sweeping vistas watching as my mutineers sailed. I questioned my leadership. I asked myself what I could have done differently. I came to the conclusion that without the leverage of military service I was impotent. From now on I would only hire sailors who respect the tradition of the sea.

http://www.azores.com/

Discovered

By Scott Dodgson
I have received several inquiries from people who have recognized my name asking if I was the screenwriter who wrote Anna Nicole Story, Paris Hilton, The Pat Tillman Story, even a few who were aware, I don’t know how this is possible of my work with Louis Malle and Motown. I admit I am that guy. I was asked what I’m working on when I’m not sailing. Truth be told I have my own production company Day Worker Productions which produces feature films. I am also in a number of partnerships with Latin Beat Media, Nasser Productions and Project8films. At this moment I am putting together a four film slate in one investment pool. The films all written by yours truly are Jack Apple, Dirty Movie, The Fisherman and The History of Water all share the same independent/European film sensibility. This series of intelligent films is directed at the smart audience. I have found that there is a large segment of movie goers who have tired with the commercial fare and have stopped going to the theater. Once while in Antibes France on my boat I had a conversation with Luc Bresson a famous screenwriter and mega European Producer about his effort to take the French or European sensibility of film making and lean it toward the American audience. (La Femme Nikita) I being an American writer having lived in France for many years have wanted to make American films that lean toward the European sensibility. The one great advantage to sailing is the fascinating and sometimes powerful people you meet. I could make a list but I won’t bore you I’ll let it come out in my future blogs on my adventures sailing in the Med and the Caribbean. So I’ll add, and humbly so if anyone has interest in making great films send me a note. Tomorrow I’ll return to the Azores.

Knowing the Unknown

By Scott Dodgson
Let’s consider knowledge for a moment. There are three ways of looking at knowledge; those things you actually know, like driving a car, a good recipe for chicken, or baseball. Then there is a rather large category of subjects you are aware of but don’t know, Chinese language, nuclear science or metaphysical poetry. Then there is an even more expansive category of all the things you have no clue exists. Finding an island in the middle of the ocean after twelve days of sailing is a little like experiencing all three categories at once. I know I’ve been sailing to a point in the ocean. At first the crew was confident I would find the island. In the middle of the voyage they spent a good deal of time checking the chart and questioning my grasp of navigation. Near the end was a near panic that we were somehow lost. So on the morning of the twelfth day at sea I spotted what looked like a stationary cloud in the direction of our course. Without betraying my discovery I surveyed the crew. David, my retired businessman seemed to be hunkered down as if he were counting the minutes to go home and escape his cubicle. Janice seemed completely unaware and I suspected drunk. Paul seemed tortured by loneliness and longing for something I was not quite sure and Mike, my so called first mate was brooding. Every conversation I had with him since he fell asleep at the helm was strained and uncomfortable even though I had repeatedly told him everything was cool. I spent a couple of moments privately enjoying my accomplishment of finding the Azores. I quick note the Azores have been called the lost islands for hundreds of years because they had been discovered and lost by the Portuguese, Spanish, English and French. I lifted my binoculars and saw the hazy outline of Mount Pico rising nearly 8,000 feet. One degree to port laid Horta our intended destination. I asked Janice what she had planned for dinner. She replied the last of the salad, soup and fish. I announced it would not be necessary to cook tonight as I would be buying the crew dinner in Horta. With this announcement excitement and relief flooded the crew’s emotions. They had crossed from what they knew to what they were aware of and now stood face to face with an island they really didn’t know existed.








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